October 20, 2002

 

Naked launch: Clothing-free cruises tout freedom

 

By Pete Williams

Special to the Mercury News

 

ABOARD THE CARNIVAL SHIP JUBILEE - It's 5 p.m. on the Lido deck, and no one is wearing pants.

Or shirts. Or shoes. Or anything other than sunscreen, hats and wraparound shades. As the Carnival cruise ship Jubilee barrels through the Gulf of Mexico back to the port of Tampa, most of the 1,490 nudists on board have packed the deck, kicking back in lounge chairs, sipping frozen umbrella beverages or splashing in the pool.

The air smells of salt and suntan lotion. A steady procession of naked people moves toward a soft-serve ice cream machine. Waiters and waitresses, easily identifiable because of their clothing, seem unaffected by the display of flesh as they deliver drinks.

About two dozen soggy nudists stand in line to take yet another plunge down a two-story water slide. Others toss water balloons, sending sunbathers for cover. One floor above on the Verandah deck, another group struggles to keep volleyballs in play and not from going overboard.

"Wil-son!" a young man screams, doing his best Tom Hanks "Cast Away" impersonation as another ball drops into the water. "I'm sorry, Wilson!"

This is not normal adult behavior but, then again, this is no ordinary cruise. Acting silly and rediscovering one's inner child is mandatory. Anyone not having fun runs the risk of being pelted with water balloons, although it's tough to find somebody not behaving like it's the last day of school.

And why not? It's hard not to feel like a kid while walking around naked with an ice cream cone.

Nancy Tiemann surveys the scene from the Lido deck, sporting the proud grin of someone who has thrown the perfect party. She and her husband, Tom, own Bare Necessities Tour & Travel, an Austin company that operates under the slogan "Providing the luxury of deciding what not to wear." Since 1992, Bare Necessities has taken more than 12,000 passengers on nude cruises around the Caribbean, Central America, Europe and Tahiti.

Eager convert

The company began on a whim in 1989 after the Tiemanns, who were not nudists at the time, reluctantly agreed to be part of a 20-passenger, clothing-optional dive trip in Belize when they could not make their regularly scheduled, clothed voyage.

Nancy, then a banker, found nude cruising so relaxing she figured there must be more people wanting to vacation with minimal luggage. It was a tough sell initially, to both cruise ships and passengers. After struggling to fill a 470-passenger ship for their maiden voyage in '92, the Tiemanns figured that would be the end of their side business.

But demand kept increasing. They added trips from Europe and the South Pacific. The boats kept getting bigger, especially for the annual midwinter cruise. More than 1,000 nudists rode the Regal Empress into the new millennium, somewhere between Cozumel and Tampa.

In 2001, Carnival offered up the bigger Jubilee, which sold out quickly. Next year, Bare Necessities will depart from Los Angeles for the first time, taking a nude cruise-record 2,052 passengers on a 10-night cruise aboard Carnival's Ecstasy.

Somewhere along the way, nudity became more commonplace. The U.S. is not yet Europe in that regard, but the American Association for Nude Recreation, which is based in Kissimmee, Fla., boasts 50,000 members and more than 240 affiliated resorts and clubs. Places like Haulover Beach in Miami and Gunnison Beach in northern New Jersey draw thousands of nudists on warm weekend afternoons.

Bare Necessities has a whopping 70 percent repeat customer rate -- unheard of in the cruise industry. Many are members of nudist clubs, although others are first-time nudists.

Many passengers find the nude environment not just more conducive to tanning, but also to meeting people. According to one familiar refrain, social class distinctions and job status tend to disappear when clothing is removed.

Then there are bragging rights. Nude cruisers generally do not share their vacation photos, but they can one-up most discussions of trips to Europe or Hawaii. Not surprisingly, the millennium voyage sold out more than a year in advance.

The rules are a little different on a nude cruise. There's no need to segregate the men's and women's saunas. Proper dining room attire can be as little as shorts, T-shirt and sandals -- in order to meet sanitary standards -- and there's no need to close cabin doors while changing clothes.

Attire varies. Some go nude only when they might otherwise wear a bathing suit. Others seem intent on maximizing the nude cruise experience. Some women throw on sheer dresses at night, begging the question of where else such attire could be worn.

Besides the dining room, passengers must dress when the boat approaches ports. They also must follow proper nudist etiquette, asking permission before taking photographs and refraining from overt sexual activity. It's also customary to place a towel on a chair before sitting down naked.

The Jubilee staff occasionally poked fun at the nudists, who groaned one night in the grand lounge after hearing yet another "imagine your audience naked" reference. Two ship comedians accepted dares -- and cash -- from fellow cruise staff to perform in the nude.

Basking in the buff is enough of a body-and-soul experience for many passengers, but the Tiemanns also bring an eight-person massage staff on board, along with artists and experts who give talks on everything from yoga to tantric massage.

Says Nancy Tiemann, "Going nude on the high seas is a spiritual experience for many people."

But not necessarily one requiring minimal attire. Most nights of a Bare Necessities cruise have a theme (participation optional) requiring advanced planning and costumes. On this cruise, which stopped in Key West, New Orleans (on Fat Tuesday) and Jamaica, there was a masquerade ball and a patriotism-theme evening.

Red, white, blue and buff

A man wearing a George W. Bush mask appears both evenings dressed in navy blue coattails, a red bow tie and an Uncle Sam hat. He carries an American flag but the only thing he's wearing below the waist is red and white body paint.

"I brought a tuxedo on my first nude cruise," says the President, a veteran of traditional, so-called "textile" cruises where guests dress formally for dinner. "That's the last thing I need here."

Certainly modesty is not required. The women from the Jubilee had no trouble scoring beads along Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras. After all, what's a little more breast exposure? A crew of more than a hundred passengers overran the nude side of the Hedonism III resort in Jamaica, a place known for its outrageous partying.

On board, the casinos stay open 24 hours and the disco rocks until 3 a.m. Some naked revelers roam the decks until dawn, although for most the cruise has a more mellow tone.

The Lido deck begins to empty in late afternoon as the sun goes down, bringing the prime tanning hours to a close. On one side of the boat, an artist sketches a woman posed like Kate Winslet in "Titanic," her husband watching quietly. Other couples stroll hand-in-hand on the Verandah deck above. Jimmy Buffett is carrying happy hour. The drinks flow. No one has gotten dressed.

Four couples are standing at the back of the boat waiting to pose for a group photo against the sunset. They watch the Jubilee cut through the water, the warm wind at their backs, waiting to obtain evidence of a vacation that seems so natural, yet one most people will find difficult to comprehend.