By Pete Williams

Now we know why Stuart Sternberg, JFK fan and Democratic Party contributor, was in such a hurry to get a new ballpark built for his Tampa Bay Rays by 2012.

The Republicans are coming to Tropicana Field!

It’s not official, but RNC officials left town yesterday gung-ho about awarding the 2012 Republican National Convention to Tampa Bay. The event, if awarded, most likely would be held at the St. Pete Times Forum across the bay in Tampa, but there’s a possibility the much-maligned St. Pete dome could stage the nomination.

Imagine that. “The Trop,” the last of baseball’s non-retractable domes, with its catwalks, artificial turf, and circus-tent roof, a building deemed unacceptable for baseball by the overwhelming Republican majority that runs Major League Baseball, is considered the frontrunner to host perhaps the most important Republican convention since 1980.

Somewhere, Vincent J. Naimoli is licking his chops and chomping on his gum. The ex-Devil Rays owner is tanned, rested, and ready, poised to kick down his old office door, scream at reporters, berate a few underlings.

“Honey! I’m home!”

First, journalists and delegates must find The Trop. Anyone who watched the 2008 World Series and listened to Fox and ESPN commentators talk about being “live in Tampa” will need to fire up the GPS and head to St. Pete.

They’ll be disappointed to find than many of the area’s top attractions are not in St. Pete but in Tampa: Ybor City, Bern’s Steakhouse, Mons Venus.

In fairness, The Trop has many fun sights, including a cigar bar, touch tank of actual cow nose rays, and a museum dedicated to Republican legend Ted Williams. Since Teddy Ballgame would have liked to attend the convention, John McCain could pull some strings and bring some of Ted home from Arizona.

Here in the Tampa Bay area, we’re unfazed by national politicians who constantly suck up to us, knowing we’re the most unpredictable voters in the country. After all, we literally decided the elections in 2000 and 2004. In 2008, we couldn’t get rid of candidates.

“Hey, Obama is speaking in Dunedin today and Palin’s in Clearwater tomorrow. You want to go?”

“Nah, I saw them last week.”

Will The Trop’s usual rules apply? Will Republicans have to travel four in a car to get free parking? Will they be allowed to bring in their own food and drinks? Will there be a different price for admission every day of the week, especially if there’s a concert involved? What if you don’t show up more than five hours ahead of time?

Will the Rays pull the tarps off the top rows of seats? Will Dick Vitale show up? Will Pat “The Cooler” Burrell be allowed in the building?

Look at it this way: How often do the Rays sell out the building without a single Red Sox fan?

If Republicans want a state-of-the-art, booming sound system that never – ever – lets up, they’ve come to the right place. If they want a friendly guy from “The O.C.” to show them around the building, maybe host a wine tasting, Joe Maddon is the man. If they need one of their local brethren to throw like a girl while delivering a ceremonial first pitch, Charlie Crist and Clearwater mayor Frank Hibbard are available.

And if they need a former Devil Ray to offer a few words, well, someone can round up John Rocker.

By week’s end, everyone in attendance will be able to say they’ve spent more time at The Trop than Bud Selig.

Oh, it will be a memorable time, one of so many The Trop has hosted. Long before the fuss about ballparks staging the NHL’s “Winter Classic,” The Trop was home to entire Tampa Bay Lightning seasons. There was Arena Football, boat shows, soccer games, motorcycle events, tennis, monster truck competitions, karate, gymnastics, and equestrian events.

In 1999, The Trop became the first (and still only) baseball-specific venue to host The Final Four, with Connecticut beating Duke for the title. In 2008, The Trop was site of the Rays worst-to-first turnaround and march to the World Series.

By mid-2012, the Rays and Sternberg could have the basic financing in place for a new ballpark and the Republican National Convention could send the building out with a bang.

At The Trop, where baseballs go up and don’t always come down, anything is possible.

Friday, August 31, 2012. Booming sound system, lights sparkling off the catwalks.

“Hi, I’m Vince Naimoli. Please join me in welcoming the next President of the United States….Sarah Palin!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 31st, 2010 at 11:07 am and is filed under Sports Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.